


My Best Friends Nemesis

by DivineVarod



Series: The Kochanski chronicles [2]
Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: 'Bent' Bob Lebowski - Freeform, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship, Heartbreak, Love/Hate, M/M, Overworking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 14:09:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8288516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivineVarod/pseuds/DivineVarod
Summary: When Dave Lister arrives the lives of Arnold Rimmer and Kristine Kochanski are turned upside down. Arnold hates him on sight - does Kristine feel the same?





	

Nothing was the same from the moment Dave Lister arrived on board of Red Dwarf.  
  
Arnold Rimmer's life was the first to be turned upside-down: he resented his new bunkmate from the start and couldn't stop listing Kristine Kochanski all things he hated about him. The list seemed endless to her; from his lack of professionalism to his messiness, his attitude, his drinking, his pranks, his disregard for his superiority, the snoring that kept him up at night.  
It was exhausting. But as Kochanski had never seen her friend as worked up over another person (not even Todhunter) in all the years she'd known him she patiently listened to him complain and tried to help him where she could.  
Kochanski wondered if there was more to it than met the eye, but she couldn't figure it out. She worried about her friend as Rimmer became more and more stressed and anxious each day. Sadly there was not a lot she could do about it except letting Rimmer vent and invite him to sleep or study in her quarters during the nights she spent with Tim.  
Rimmer took that offer with both hands. Retreating to her quarters whenever things got too much for some desperately needed solitude.  
  
The weeks passed and just when Rimmer's life became a bit more balanced as he adjusted to the changes in his life, it was Kochanski who was dealt a blow. Tim was leaving!! Her beloved chef had received a promotion and would be posted to another ship for six months. To make matters even worse Tim decided it was best for him and Kochanski to break up, at-least for the time being. She didn't want to end things, she told him; she could wait. But Tim said he wasn't good at holding out and would hate cheating on her: If they were on a break and anything happened at least it would be guilt free.  
That was even worse and for a moment she considered setting Rimmer on him to make good on his monkey-wrench promise.  
Instead, when her friend called to her room that night she collapsed into his arms and wept for hours. She was devastated by losing her first real boyfriend as well as with his betrayal. Unsure of how to deal with all this Kochanski's body shut down and she suffered a small breakdown. She decided to cash in five years worth of holiday leave and took to her bed.

* * *

Rimmer was horrified by all this: he couldn't believe Tim would do this to his beloved best friend. The disappointment in a man he'd looked up to was crushing. He tried to hide his hurt from Kochanski, as he knew that she had more than enough on her plate. Her breakdown caused him a lot of anxiety at first. Kochanski was the strong one in their relationship and seeing her like this was terrifying. He wasn't sure what to do to help her, having been raised starved of affection he didn't know how to comfort her.  
In the end he asked Bob for advise. The kind caterer told him that all she really needed was Rimmer to be the best friend he could be. The moment Bob told him Rimmer understood what he meant and rushed back to Kochanski's side.  
Eager to help his best friend through the pain Rimmer semi-moved in with her to help her through the worst of it all: he made her breakfast, lunch and dinner, cleaned, read to her and held her at night: trying to take her mind of the pain with funny stories. He visited her between shifts and exhausted himself trying to make sure she was comfortable. Soon being the perfect best friend became Rimmer's new obsession.

* * *

Kochanski was happy to have Rimmer looking after her beyond the call of duty, but sometimes his presence got too much and she just wanted some alone time. She didn't want to complain as he tried so hard, but sometimes he got to the point of grating. Also, she felt as if she was letting him down in some way. As he tried to raise her spirits and get her active, all she wanted was to stay in bed unwilling to do anything but cry and wallow in her pain. She often saw the disappointment in his eyes as he returned to her quarters between shifts and found her still huddled beneath her covers.  
She had never wanted to be “that girl”: the type whose world crumbles just because some guy dumped her. She hated herself for it, but didn't seem able to make it go away. These emotions were new and alien to her. She was completely wrapped up in a cocoon of sadness and nothing else mattered. Until one very important person did …

* * *

A few more days passed and Kochanski slowly became more aware of life outside of her self pity bubble, especially of all the effort Rimmer went through taking care of her. The poor man was always at her back and call. He'd even given her a walky-talky with which she could call him if need be. Her cranky mood fading she had started too cherish his constant presence, even though Rimmer had grown quieter as of late.  
She begun to notice her friend had also started looking rather pale and drawn. When he read to her at night he seemed rushed and weary, his hands shaking. This slightly jolted her out of her lethargic state, as it raised alarm bells inside her. She knew Rimmer didn't like prying, but when he suddenly swayed on his feet and then semi collapsed into the chair at her bedside one evening it was clear she might have to. Her fears grew when Rimmer just stayed there, on the chair, with his eyes closed. Kochanski sat up and put her hand on his cold shaking fist.  
“Arn, sweetie, I know you don't like it if I ask, but: are you okay?”  
Rimmer opened his eyes with clear difficulty and blinked at her in surprise.  
“Yes, yes, everything is tickety-boo.” He gave a faux faltering smile. “Please Krissie, I'm looking after you now.” The eyes closed again.  
Kochanski bit her lip: so something was wrong! Rimmer only used the word “tickety-boo” if there was something amiss. She gently took his hand and massaged the inside with her thumb. After a while the tired eyes opened again to look at her.  
“That doesn't mean you can't tell me if something's wrong, Arnold. I can tell there is, you know.”  
Rimmer looked at her, clearly registering her concern. Then he sighed.  
“I'm … I'm just a bit tired Krissie, nothing worrying. The exams are coming up again and … well I haven't got much study time during the day, so …”  
Kochanski felt her eyebrows rise into her hairline when she understood.  
“Oh no! You've been up studying every night Arnie? Because of me?”  
Rimmer bowed his head, looking as if he felt guilty for telling her.  
“No, it isn't your fault Krissie. It's just …" A deep breath but Arnold Rimmer couldn't stop himself anymore ... "I've been taking on extra jobs so the Captain might see something more in me and I've been given an extra shift as Peterson has broken his leg and Lister keeps messing everything up on Z-shift it takes ages. So you see: it's not your fault, looking after you is a joy. It's just me not being able to handle things again.” Blurting it all out was followed by Rimmer pushing his first into his mouth as Kochanski took in all he had said and swallowed. Rimmer had never even told her that he'd been burdened with another shift, or about the extra jobs and exams. Looking at him now she saw a man dangerously close to burning out. There was no way she would let that stupid Z-Shift job break him. He was worth more than that.  
“Arnold ...”  
Rimmer looked away from her, his body hunched with self loathing.  
“Smeg it, you're not supposed to worry about me.” His voice sounded shrill as if he were close to crying. “I wanted to look after you for a change, be there for you and I messed it up, again. I'll never be able to repay your kindness to me.”  
Okay, this was too much. She took both his hands and looked into his weary eyes.  
“Arnold, you don't need to repay me, silly! Friendship is being there when someone is in need. For these last five years that's what you did. When I needed you, you were there. Always.”  
He blinked at her, looking confused.  
“So I'm not a crap friend?”  
She shook her head and kissed his cheek.  
“Of course not. You're my sweet Arnie, the best friend I could wish for.”  
She studied his face.  
“Oh my poor sweetheart, you look so tired.” She patted her bed. “Come lay next to me, you need lots of sleep Mr!”  
Rimmer shook his head slowly. “I need to study.”  
“You can't store information when you're this worn out, the brain needs rest. Tomorrow, when I'm sure you're fully rested, we'll make a plan to get you ready in time, okay?”  
Her friend thought about it for a moment.  
“Come on sweetie, I promise you it'll be alright.”  
“Okay …” Rimmer whispered, barely audible, utter exhaustion winning over exam fears. “But I'll only sleep two hours, then I have to get on. Promise you'll wake me …”  
“Sure …” She smiled, keeping her fingers crossed beneath her blanket.

* * *

In the end the utterly exhausted Rimmer woke up more than twelve hours later, to find Kochanski serving him breakfast in bed with the news that she had called him in sick. He had wanted to be annoyed with her for making him miss work and precious study time, but he couldn't, as he felt so grateful to her for deciding this for him. He wasn't feeling well at all, hadn't for quite a while. Even though he'd loath to admit it, he needed rest badly. But it was hard to accept this as he had the nagging feeling that – once again – it was her looking after him.  
  
“That's not true Arnold, you really helped me.”  
“What?” Rimmer almost choked in his tea and looked up in astonishment: she could read his thoughts now??! “What are you talking about?”  
“I could see the worry on your face Arnold. You think you've failed me, but you haven't. You made me get up and do something, that's the best thing that could have happened to me.” She placed her hand on his forehead. “You've got a temperature sweetie, so no studying for you.” Rimmer opened his mouth to protest. “No, listen it's okay: You can have a private sitting of your exam next month. I've arranged it with Todhunter. You're overworked and need rest so from now on the roles are reversed. Apparently, like me, you've never used any of your free days so if you're a good boy and rest for the next few days I've arranged for us and Bob to go to the holiday deck next week. Would you like that Arnie?”  
Completely overwhelmed by all this information Rimmer just sighed and nodded. Having finished his tea he lay back down. Knowing that, for once in his lifetime, he didn't have anything to be prepared or ready for had the effect of a sedative on him. It was as if someone had removed a plug in his body to release decades of stress and tension. In this moment he knew her friendship had saved him.  
“I love you Krissie.” He said softly. He'd never said it to anyone before, it was a breakthrough for him. Then he fell asleep again, a small, but happy, smile on his face.

* * *

Hearing those words come from her beloved friend and seeing the deep open gratitude in those big green eyes filled Kochanski with a warm emotion. Tim could go and do one, he was not the be all and end all: here was someone who loved her and depended on her. Her strength restored she took to nursing Rimmer with a zest. This included getting him clean clothes.

* * *

Kochanski had never been to Rimmer's room in all those years of knowing him. No matter how much she insisted, he said he didn't want her to see it, as it would embarrass him too much. With a clear reason to enter, and the man fast asleep, she decided to go in anyhow.  
Entering the room she frowned: it was so tiny! Fore a second she felt guilty: her room was big and spacious and she had it all to herself while Rimmer, with his OCD and all sorts of issues had to share this small space with someone else. It was wrong.  
Looking around the room she smiled: it was rather obvious that two completely different people lived here. One side of the room was filled with piles of mess: food wrappers, empty beer cans, evil looking socks. While the other half was clean to the point of sterile. She opened a closet and burst into giggles: 10 similar looking uniforms hung starched and pristine in a row, followed by a large selection of freshly pressed underpants.  
“It's insane, isn't it, la?” A young humorous voice said behind her.  
She turned around sharply in fright to find two twinkly dark brown eyes smiling at her.  
“Who are you?”  
“Hey, should be me saying that! It's me room you're in!”  
She took a deep breath and looked at the man in front of her: long dreadlocks: check, Hawaiian shirt: check, curry stains: check, cigarette: check.  
“You must be Dave Lister then?” She smiled uncertainly.  
“I was last time I checked …” The young man beamed at her.  
Despite being aware of Rimmer's utter dislike for the man in front of her Kochanski for some reason felt her heart melt. There was something utterly adorable about this young Scouser. He made her feel happy in a way that Tim had done before … Immediately she felt guilty about this thought. What was wrong with her? This man was her best friends nemesis!! Feeling attracted to Dave Lister was probably breaking every friendship code known to man. Flustered she decided that just standing there in silence was making her look like an idiot.  
“I'm Kristine Kochanski.”  
“Ah, smegheads friend? My condolences!”  
And instantly the attraction was gone, no-one talked about her Rimmer like that in her presence.  
“That is Mr Rimmer to you. And yes I am his friend.”  
Clearly noticing her scowl and change of tone Lister quickly backtracked.  
“Okay ma'am don't get yer knickers in a twist, was only joking. Where did the smegger go anyway?”  
Kochanski had quickly started packing some of Rimmer's essentials. She wanted to be far away from this man that made her feel all kinds of confusing things as soon as possible. Why did he have to come in now? She had just wanted to look in Rimmer's room, pack and be out of here.  
“Mr Rimmer sort of collapsed last night and will need a few weeks to recover. I'm sure you'll be glad to know.” She said coldly.  
To her surprise Lister's face fell and he looked slightly concerned.  
“Oh hey, is he all right?” He said softly, sounding worried.  
Kochanski hadn't expected that.  
“W … well, he is overworked and needs rest mainly.”  
Lister took a swig from an open beer-can that stood between a pile of worn socks. Kochanski felt a little queasy at the sight.  
“Oh man, I told him he shouldn't stay up every night prepping for that stupid exam.”  
Hearing the real concern in his voice made Kochanski happy. Maybe Rimmer had this young man all wrong.  
“You're worried about him?”  
An indignant look was shot at her.  
“Yes, of course! He's me roommate, why shouldn't I be?” He actually sounded hurt.  
“But I thought …”  
“Hey, just because I like to make fun of the smegger doesn't mean I can't be concerned! I'm not a monster! What the smeg has Rimmer been telling you about me?”  
She smiled as she took some of Rimmer's underwear and placed it in the overnight bag she had brought with her.  
“Nothing much ...” She looked up at him and sighed. “Look, Lister … can I call you Dave?”  
“Sure ...”  
“Arnold is my best friend. I know that might be hard for you to understand.”  
“It is. Did he hypnotise you?”  
“Please, just listen to me for a moment. I know Arnold can come across as difficult and petty, but that's because he's insecure. He's been through a lot you see and he finds it difficult to get along with people. He often finds things like too many people and too much noise overwhelming. Before you came here … he had this room to himself. He told me it was the only place where he could get away from everything and rest his mind. It stopped him from going crazy. Suddenly having to share it is hard for him as he has no place to hide and recharge."  
After having listened to her intently Lister was deep in thought, crunching his now empty can in his hand obliviously.  
“Thank you for telling me …” he eventually said. “That explains a lot.”  
He looked up and smiled at her. “I'll try to be a little easier on the smeghead, maybe he'll start to like me eventually.”  
He sounded sweet and earnest and once again Kochanski found herself melt.  
“That's good of you Dave. I hope you two can work things out. Arnold needs all the support he can get, believe me.”  
A silence. Kochanski finished packing up Rimmer's things and Lister shuffled his feet a bit. Unsure of what to do Kochanski zipped up the bag and walked to the door. Just when she opened her mouth to call “open”, she heard Lister clear his throat behind her – she cringed: Damn, she'd been so close to leaving with most of her dignity still in tact.  
“Hey, erm … I know you're an officer and I'm … well … the lowest of the low. But … you're friends with smeghead and I'm only just below him so … I was wondering … would you have a drink with me sometime?”  
Oh no!! No, no, no!! It hammered in Kochanski's head. This could not be happening! He liked her too? This was too soon after Tim and what would Rimmer say?  
On the other hand: Lister seemed like a caring person and if she could help him and Rimmer sort things out maybe that whole enemies thing would fade in time. What if Lister was the chance at happiness she'd been waiting for? No, she decided, she'd accept: if she did it right everything might turn out for the best.  
“Well … sure!”  
The look of stunned surprise Lister shot her followed by a beaming smile that seemed to fill his whole face was a joy to see.  
“Fan-smegging-tastic!! When can you make it? I know you probably have your hands full looking after that stupid bunkmate of mine ...”  
  
Kochanski shot him a beaming smile back. “Soon Dave, very soon.”

She gave him a quick wink and left the room filled with joy.  
  
Things were looking up: she was back on her feet and back in the world all in the stretch of one day. Even if the date with this Dave Lister didn't work out, at least she'd have dated again and had some fun. But for some reason she felt things would work out with this one.  
The only cloud on her new sunny horizon was Rimmer: even if she could manage to force a friendship between him and Lister he might be upset she'd chosen to date a man he had said he loathed on so many occasions. On the surface of things it looked at-least disloyal. Maybe she better go on a few dates with Lister and see how things went before she sprang it on him.  
Yes, Kochanski decided: she would keep quiet about it for now, Arnold was ill and could do without stressing out for the time being. Maybe after they'd been on holiday and he was rested she the timing would be better.  
  
Poor Krissy, how was she to know the timing would never be better? There was more behind Arnold's resentment of Dave Lister than she could ever imagine. Sadly the moment she understood it would be too late.  
TO BE CONTINUED!


End file.
